5 Books to Help Grow Your Marriage
Do you like to read? Do you want to grow your marriage? These are the books for you!
By Contributing Writer, Hannah Jinks
No matter if you’ve been married 5 months or 50 years, most of us can acknowledge that our marriages have room to grow.
Somehow two imperfect and sinful people don’t equal one blissful and perfect marriage. Weird! 😉
I’ve only been married for a year and a half, and I’ve already had to come to terms with the fact that I am nowhere near the loving and helpful wife I thought I’d be.
I know that I want to help our marriage grow, to be a good and godly marriage that lasts a lifetime.
Thankfully, we’re not left to guess at what makes a good marriage. Some of us have family or friends from church that show how great a marriage can be. We are blessed to have such examples and should totally go to those couples for wisdom.
But even if there aren’t such couples in your life right now, or you want some extra wisdom, there are tons of excellent books on marriage that you can read with your spouse!
Even if your spouse isn’t interested in reading a book on marriage, you can still reap great benefits from reading one yourself! Remember, you are half of the marriage equation, so any positive changes you make will automatically improve your marriage.
You could also read one of these books as part of a Bible study or Care Group. Talking through a book as a group can be super helpful since you get to share the experiences and wisdom of others.
Here are my favorite books on marriage:
Love and Respect-Dr. Emerson Eggerichs
This is probably one of the best books on marriage that I’ve yet to read. The basis of the book is men need respect and women need love. It sounds a bit simplistic, but the book contains myriads of examples to show how that actually plays out in real life.
My husband and I read this after we got engaged, and I think it really helped start us on the right track of thinking about how the other person might see a situation (because men and women do NOT interpret things the same way!) and what their needs in a situation are.
I HIGHLY recommend this book, especially if you and your spouse struggle with communication.
Each for the Other-Bryan Chapell
I read this book in college and was struck at how different the focus was from how many of us view relationships. Instead of focusing on trying to be happy or making sure that one’s own needs are fulfilled, Chapell declares that a happy marriage will only exist when each spouse is willing to live sacrificially for the other.
Chapell ties in a lot of Scripture in this book which is pretty cool. It also has a great section at the end on parenting and how we can live sacrificially as parents.
His Needs, Her Needs-Willard F. Harley Jr.
Let’s face it, men and women have different needs.
This book has an awesome list of the various needs men and women have in marriage, and discusses how spouses can best meet those needs. Some of them may seem intuitive, such as women’s need for open honesty or men’s need for admiration, but the author really digs into how we actually do this in our marriages and how it can build a stronger marriage when we take the time to meet each other’s needs.
Marriage Matters-Winston T. Smith
This book’s subtitle is “extraordinary change through ordinary moments.” I read this one with my women’s Bible study and I love the focus on the ordinary everyday stuff of marriage.
The chapters are highly practical; I especially enjoyed the ones on conflict. Conflict is hard in every relationship, not just marriage, but this book talked about the various kinds of conflict and what ways we have of dealing with it in a positive manner.
The Meaning of Marriage-Timothy Keller
This is the only one of the list that I haven’t read, but it comes with high recommendations, so I’m throwing it on here anyway.
In this book Tim Keller shows how God created marriage to bring us closer to Him as well as our spouses. Instead of giving into the culture’s cry that marriage is all about romance and being happy, Keller explains how much better and more fulfilling God’s plan for marriage is.
I hope that you enjoy these books, whether you read them now or ten years into your marriage. Our marriages are a precious and wonderful thing, so let’s keep growing in them!
What a great list!! I highly recommend Love and Respect-Dr. Emerson Eggerichs too! It is a great book on communication! I think every couple should read it even though they may “think” they are not having communication issues. 😉
I also recommend the Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. That was an eye opener me and my husband!!
Yes, both of those books are so good! My husband and I have read both of those together and they have really helped improve our marriage and communication.
Hi Hannah! So happy to see you are reading books on Marriage.. 🙂 It truly amazes me how many people don’t do this! But, my oh my, lives would be changed if more people did! I was definitely reading relationship books before I was married, because I knew I needed the help. 😉 I will have to pin your recommendations.. 🙂 And, a couple more I would add are The 5 Love Languages and Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus. (Sounds similar to His Needs, Her Needs.. )
I love The 5 Love Languages! It was super helpful to understanding out to meet the needs of my husband in a way that truly blessed him.
Hey Victoria, and Hannah – I loved this collection. My husband and I have enjoyed just out all of the books on the list. I wanted to let you know that I’m going to share this as part of my Feb book round up – Thank you!
Thanks so much Marissa!
You already listed my favorite book! Love and Respect. I’m going to have to check out the other ones you listed. I love reading solid marriage books. I am a huge advocate for growing marriages!
Me too Crystal! Hopefully your library might have a few of these titles so you can check them out soon!