Is motherhood making your lose your mind? Are you tired, overwhelmed, frazzled and feeling like one big #MomFail moment after another? You’re not alone, being a mother is hard!
In the midst of the messes and chaos of motherhood we often start to believe the lie we aren’t good enough. But here’s the truth, God has chosen and equipped YOU to be the mother to your children. Let’s stop believing the lie that we are failures and start embracing this truth!
I’m pretty sure I completely lost my mind, I mean really LOST it.
You see we are going on month ___ (I have lost track because it’s been so long) of potty training my middle child.
To put it a bit more into perspective, this child is sweet, salty and VERY strong-willed!
Which to help you read between the lines means one day this child is completely potty trained and complying very nicely and the next day… well you can imagine I’m sure.
What is it about potty training that takes a parent who is normally calm, cool and collected and turns them into a raving maniac?
This particular day my child, who I love more than words can express, had an accident (again) and I would love to tell you I responded with grace, patience and love.
It was the tip of the iceberg and it sent me over the edge.
I’m pretty sure I had steam coming from my ears. My reaction didn’t make me feel better. When I looked down at this child’s sweet face, I immediately felt worse.
Through tears, cuddles and apologies, I’m praying this episode of losing my mind will be erased from my child’s memory.
I share this with you because I am human with real emotions who doesn’t always handle them well.
Being a mother has taught me a lot about myself, mainly on just how selfish and sinful I really am.
And I know I’m not the only one who have ever lost their cool in front of the people who they love the most. As much as we would all like to think we would handle conflicts in loving ways, sin pours forth.
A few months ago, I finished the book Breaking Busy: How to Find Peace & Purpose in a World of Crazy. It’s really resonated with me, especially when she says things like:
An inability to control our emotions and constantly feel anxious, irritable, depressed, and overwhelmed are all signs something isn’t right.
Out-of-control emotions often reflect out-of-control demands we put on ourselves.”
Potty training isn’t the only thing that has been demanding my attention and energy, I’ve been running around in circles in so many other areas as well.
My Top 10 #MomFail Moments
- The time I forgot (again) it was my child’s show and tell day at preschool and I sent him to school with nothing to share.
- The time I boldly announced that the next person who says the word MOM will be going to time out.
- The time I hurriedly rushed through bedtime tuck-ins so I could get back to working on my computer.
- The time when I made boxed mac & cheese (gasp!) 😉 for dinner the 3rd time in a week because I just didn’t feel like making anything else.
- The time I told my son I would take away all his toys unless he started sharing with his sister (I unfairly targeted him by the way).
- The time I made my kids go to school with pants that had holes in the knees and were a tad too short (hello high waters!) because the laundry was piled up so high.
- The time I turned on the TV and let Curious George/Daniel Tiger/Sesame Street/or any other PBS show teach my children for the day.
- The time I told my kids the library was closed because I didn’t feel like dressing everyone, loading the van up and heading out of the house for our bi-weekly library trip.
- When I tell my kids their vitamins are “dessert” so they think they are getting a treat.
- When my kids are the last one picked up from Sunday School because I spent too much time talking after church (but in my defense, Sunday mornings are usually my ONLY time for adult interaction all week!)
I capping the list off at 10 because… you know, it could go on and on.
Motherhood is HARD!
It brings out crazy emotions in us, some good while others are definetly not what Jesus intended when He came and died for us so we could live the abundant life.
Satan loves to fill our minds with guilt.
Guilt that we aren’t doing enough, guilt that we are screwing up our kids, guilt that we will never be the moms are kids need.
Here’s the truth… You (and me) are the Mom that God choose to be the mother of your children.
God choose me to be the mother to my three precious little ones. Not only did He choose me, He equipped me.
God equips you too!
So What’s a Mom to Do When She Loses Her Ever Loving Mind?
Every day we are given a new gift of a fresh start. Even in the midst of the course of a day, we have the opportunity to start over.
Sometimes you just need to remove yourself from the situation for a minute, a Mommy Time-Out as I like to call them. Step out of the room, lock yourself in the bathroom, stand on the back porcc for some fresh air. Count to 10 (or if you’re about to explode, try 50), and take some deep breaths.
Ask for Forgiveness
Let’s face it, we are humans. We will make mistakes and act in ways that make us cringe. We need the Savior’s Grace.
When we mess up and say or do something that is unkind, impatient or unloving, acknowledge it and ask for forgiveness. Our kids learn humility from us, so what better way then to model it then to say sorry for our transgressions.
I like to cuddle my little one up on my lap, hold and rock them while I explain why I was wrong to act the way I did. Then I ask for an apology and we pray together.
It’s simple but effective. All of our attitudes are improved.
Seek the Lord
We were not created to go about this business alone nor does God expect us too.
Spend time in prayer asking for His grace and love to fill you up so you can pour out to your children. Pray throughout your entire day, include Him in all you do.
While sometimes it may appear God isn’t listening or answering our prayers, the truth is He is. He is shaping and molding us into His image.
Stop Believing the Lies that You are a Failure of a Mom
You aren’t, you never will be, so stop believing the lies that Satan is trying to feed you.
Sure you might lose your patience, yell, act unlovingly but those acts don’t define who you are as a woman or a mother. Grace is given to us. When we lose our tempers, it’s best to remove ourselves for a few minutes, take a deep breath, ask God to help us and pick up our little ones to hug and ask for their forgiveness.
Some days it will feel like everything is hitting the fan. I’ve had these sorts of days myself, and it’s precisely because I get it that I’m so excited to point you in the direction of this brand new (and free!) video series created by two moms who have lived their fair share of #momfail days.
Stephanie and Beth are not only popular bloggers, but they’re also moms in the trenches. They’ve got 8 kids and almost 20 years of mothering experience between them.
They also understand and have the deepest compassion for moms who are working their tails off, but still hitting the pillow at night with a heavy heart and tear-stained face, because they feel like they’re failing at one of the most important things they’ll ever do in their lives.
And so they’ve put together an honest, candid and incredibly encouraging series of three videos just for moms. It’s called “The Truth About #MomFail Culture: 10 Things You Need to Hear on the Hard Days”.
It won’t solve all your problems, and much as they wish they could, they can’t reach through the computer and fold that pile’o’laundry for you. But we can all benefit from a fresh perspective and encouragement from someone who really gets it.
Each video is short – around 10 minutes, and you can watch it on any sort of device and whenever you’ve got a few spare minutes.
To watch the video series, just click this link and enter your name and email to sign up. You’ll get access to the first video today, and then one per day after that.
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