Why I Gave Myself a Mommy Time-Out
To say that Tuesday was a rough day around here would be putting it lightly. To quote Alexander, “It was a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day!”
There were tears, temper tantrums, gnashing of teeth, and that was just from me! OK maybe not gnashing of teeth, but it was a hard day around here.
Both kids rose before the sun and both were incredibly needy and whiny. On top of that, I was harboring some resentment over a mis-communication with my husband. All of that together results in terrible way to start the day. But the day had promise. I was able to rise early, spend time in the Word, and even work out. So where did the day go wrong?
With.Me.
I let my own anger, resentment, and feelings of entitlement kindle in my heart. I listened to Satan’s lies that I was doing everything for everyone and no one was doing anything for me. Basically I was drowning in my own self sorrows. No wonder my day was taking a turn for the worst.
Perhaps if I would have picked up my son up when he wanted to be held instead of ignoring him and continuing to do the dishes, his whining might have stopped right there.
Or maybe it was not the morning to wean my daughter from her morning nursing, which looking back was probably the reason she was no needy (and then I discovered last night her molars are starting to come in, poor baby!)
So yes, there were a lot of factors causing my kids to get on my nerves (I hate that I just admitted that, but that’s how I felt.) And yes I did start the day reading God’s Word, but did I let it sink in?
The answer to that question is no. It was just a “drive by” reading, you know where you just quickly read a text of scripture to say that you had your quiet time. It was only later in the day when I let God’s Word sink into my heart, that my attitude directly changed.
I needed to give myself a mommy time-out, so I put both kids into the crib (surprisingly they both love to be in the same crib together and can play nicely together for about 10 minutes) and went into my room and started to pray.
I asked God if heard me, does he listen to me when I am in a desperate state. His response, “Yes I hear you, but are you listening to Me?”
I sat there on my bed just staring at the ceiling thinking about that, and to be honest, no. Often times I don’t slow down and listen. I shout out my prayers, I cry out in desperation, I sing my praises, but I don’t take the time to be still before the Lord and actually listen to Him like I should.
Earlier in the day while reading in my devotional book, I came across a verse, which I believe that God specifically put in my view because He knew that I needed it.
Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs with thanksgiving in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. Colossians 3:15-17
Peace and thankfulness, those where definitely two things I was not focusing on.
Instead of being thankful that I have two healthy and lively kids, I was focused on how whiny and needy there were acting.
Instead of being thankful for husband and all the hard work he does to support our family and to allow me to stay home with the kids, I was focused on how I felt wronged by him.
Instead of thanking God for all the blessings and gifts He has showered on me, let alone His grace and mercy, I was crying out, “Are you listening?”
Those few minutes laying on my bed praying to God and thinking about that verse in Colossians really helped transform my attitude towards the rest of the day. In my self imposed mommy time-out, I chose to sit and actually listen to Him.
Sure my kids were still needy, and they stilled fussed all morning and into the afternoon, despite having taken a long nap. But I chose to extend my focus to God’s peace that comes from a thankful heart. I wanted to let the peace of Christ rule in my heart. I knew that if I went to God in prayer and actually listen to Him, then the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard our hearts and minds through Christ Jesus ~Philippians 4:7
Need some encouragement when it comes to surviving the trenches of motherhood? Check out these resources that I love and recommend:
- The Ministry of Motherhood: Following Christ’s Example in Reaching the Hearts of Our Children by Sally Clarkson
- Desperate: Hope for the Mom Who Needs to Breathe by Sarah Mae and Sally Clarkson
- Steady Days: A Journey Toward Intentional, Professional Motherhood by Jaime Martin
- Mindset for Moms: From Mundane to Marvelous Thinking in Just 30 Days by Jamie Martin
Glimpses of Grace: Treasuring the Gospel in Your Home by Gloria Furman - Hope for the Weary Mom: Let God Meet You in the Mess by Stacey Thacker and Brooke McGlothlin
I L-O-V-E your blog! So glad I found you through the Living Well Spending Less link up today. I also love the transparency in your post today.
so good and true friend, so true!
Yes, yes! Sometimes I need to put myself in a “time-out” more often than I do… Thanks for linking up to Thrive @ Home!
Beautiful. I think this was your best and most honest post to date. Thank you for sharing.
Thanks Rachel!
Oh that’s awesome, when you can remember to do that it makes such a difference. Thank you for sharing. We’ve all been there in one way or another, and it is a wonderful to reminder that He will be there for us if we let him. We’re the ones that get in the way! Sometimes we all just need a breather, time to regroup and refocus. Thanks for sharing.
Very true Stephanie, the few times that I actually slow down and rest at His feet, the more peace and assurance I feel, but of course I’m constantly getting in the way of that! 🙂
Just discovered your blog and this article today. This was a tough week for me too! Funny thing, I gave myself a “time out” too! I’m going to do this more often. It really works! Have a great weekend!
I sometimes need to take mommy time outs too (sometimes twice in one day!) Sometimes I cry “lord have mercy!” when my kiddo is being extra crazy 😉 But the Lord uses my little one all the time to send me messages that Mommy needs to hear. It amazes me how much He can communicate to us through our children 🙂
I can so relate with this post! Thank you so much for sharing.
I can relate so well to what you have said here. Thanks for sharing so honestly – it is so encouraging and inspiring to others.
Thanks for sharing at Essential Fridays.
Blessings
Mel from Essential Thing Devotions
I just came upon your blog from Momma Notes. What a lovely and honest post! It is so easy to get our eyes off of the only one who can give us peace in the midst of parenting little ones. I can tell you that it does get easier parenting-wise, but finding that real time in the day to focus on Jesus is still something that requires deliberate action. I’ll have to remember to give myself a time out more often, even though my kids are older! Grace and peace to you.
I can very much relate, thank you for sharing your heart and encouragement. Have a blessed day. Tara.