Tears seem to come easy to me these days. Motherhood has turned me into a hot mess. Nothing is off limits either.
When I see another mother crying after she dropped her child off at preschool for the first time? Check
Listening to a complete stranger on TV tell their story of triumph? Check
When the Royals won the World Series? Check (OK that may be a tad dramatic, but not really) 😉
But perhaps the thing that causes the most tears is reading the words of a mother who has suffered the greatest loss of all… her own child.
Earlier this fall I received a new book from author Kalan Chapman Lloyd called Mo(u)rning Joy. From the first pages my heart was drawn into her story of loss, pain, redemption, hope and finding joy in the healing.
Kalan’s story is one of sadness and heartbreak but what emerges from the rubble is a faith that is unshakable and stronger than ever.
Over the past few years I have heard story after story of women who have gone through the heartbreaking loss of miscarriage, infertility or even given birth to a stillborn baby. My heart breaks with each of these women and I share their tears as I try to offer the best support I can.
What has become more and more apparent is these women aren’t alone and thankfully through the bravery of women like Kalen, who have the courage to share their grief, stories of hope, strength and restored faith are being brought into the light.
Mo(u)rning Joy is one of those stories.
Kalan has the unique gift to not only share her grief, pain and heartache, but also to infuse humor, encouragement and inspiration. Several times I found myself both laughing and crying, all within a few paragraphs of one another.
One thing I have learned is that humor and laughter is a great medicine, even when it feels like the whole world is falling apart. My own personal loss, while nowhere near the magnitude of losing a child, has taught me that.
Mo(u)rning Joy is the story of a real woman coming to grips with the worst news an expectant mother can hear.
I’m not going to lie, it was a hard read. There were times I had to put the story down and take a few days to come back to it.
I’m only 10 months postpartum from a relatively healthy 3rd pregnancy but I had a few scary moments along the way. I remember what it feels like to lay in the reclined chair while the ultrasound technician made a few unsettling sighs and say things like “I’m sure it’s nothing…but your doctor will explain.”
Those memories, along with the what-if’s, surfaced. But the story doesn’t end there. Page after page, word after word, Kalan shares her most vulnerable self, in humor and in graciousness. She shares her story of unimaginable pain but most importantly she recounts the joy that comes in the morning.
Weeping may last through the night, but JOY comes in the morning. ~Psalm 30:5
Her unique story drew me in, allowed me to grieve with her (someone whom I have never met), let me cheer her on and ultimately I found myself crying happy tears with her all while laughing uncontrollably at times.
And that’s the funny thing about grief, sometimes it raises emotions in us we don’t know how to deal with but God gently guides us down the path.
When we have faith in the journey, true joy emerges.
Mo(u)rning Joy is a memoir of a woman who walked through the valley and found the strength to carry on. It’s for women who have also walked a similar path and it’s for women, everyone really, who want to walk alongside those dear women, wives, daughters, sisters and friends to try and help make sense of the often times senseless loss.
**Affiliate links may have been used in this post meaning, at no additional cost to you, if you click through and make a purchase, I receive a small commision. You can read my disclosure policy here. Thanks for supporting CKK!
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