The best things my husband and I do together every week to build a strong & happy marriage?
We meet together.
Every weekend we sit down together for about 30 minutes, usually while the kids are occupied with an activity or when they are asleep. We have been doing this since before we were even married and it really does help organize and plan out the week.
In fact on the busy weekends when we don’t get a chance to meet (although we make it a priority so it almost never gets missed, but every once in awhile it does) I feel it for the rest of the week and it also has a negative impact on our marriage as well.
Though our family has grown and we have changed, our meetings together follow the exact same routine today as they did when we first started meeting together.
5 Things We Do & Lessons We Have Learned from our Weekly Meeting
1. We Review Our Week Together
Calendars in front of us, we spend a few minutes reminding each other of upcoming appointments, activities, or events. We plan date nights or intentional time to spend together without the kids.
We discuss my husband’s work schedule so I know what nights to expect him home late or what mornings he has to leave early. We look at upcoming events or activities that we need to start planning in advance. I remind him of upcoming birthdays or holidays.
Taking the time to review our calendars together helps remove most of the surprises and helps to set realistic expectations of the other’s needs. Yes, unexpected events do happen during the week and there are things you can’t plan for, but when those events do occur they don’t seem as stressful because we already know how our week is unfolding.Taking the time to review calendars together removes surprises & sets realistic expectations. Click To Tweet
This also helps me plan my week at home too. On longer days when he will work later I can plan a special outing with the kids or make sure we have an easy dinner planned. I’m not waiting around wondering what time he will get home with resentment or anger building up in my heart.
2. We review the budget together
My husband, the banker, has an extraordinary gift of organizing numbers. He is a saver by nature and a planner, so he likes to know where every penny is coming in and going out. He has created the most beautifully detailed spreadsheet that outlines our budget, and he updates it throughout the week.
We are accountable to each other when we make purchases because they all go into the budget spreadsheet, both cash and credit card purchases. Knowing that every purchase is recorded into our budget really makes me think about those impulse purchases that might happen.
Sure unexpected expenses come up and yes there are some days when a latte is completely justifiable 🙂 but I have become much more mindful of my spending patterns and in return I have turned into a saver and planner with my husband.We set goals and we work towards them together.Click To Tweet
When we review our budget we also map out our short and long term financial goals including investments, big item purchases, home improvement plans. If we notice a certain budget area is getting tight (like the grocery budget because our two toddlers are already eating like teenagers!)we plan together how we can re-work the budget. We set goals and we work towards them together.
3. We share our concerns with each other
Maybe I said something he felt was disrespectful, or maybe I wanted help in this area and he didn’t come through. Instead of keeping those negative feelings inside and stewing on them, we use this time to share our thoughts and feelings. Sure we share these throughout the week but this is a set aside time each week where we have uninterrupted time to discuss these issues.
It is both humbling and completely fulfilling to confess, repent, forgive and communicate with one another. Yes it’s hard and more then enough times I don’t want to hear it, but it’s that part of marriage where we are being sanctified.
4. It keeps us accountable to one another
When we review our calendars and set dates or activities, we always run the event by the other person before confirming it. I don’t plan a girl’s night or a dinner out with friends before checking in with my husband to see if that night would work for him too, and vice versa.
By keeping record of the budget and sitting down every week to review it we are being accountable to one another. My husband works very hard and as a result I am able to stay home with the children. We view his income as our money but I am very mindful of my spending habits and even my comments about money.
My husband is very generous, gracious and compassionate. We have a strong partnership, he values my ideas and always discusses any big purchases or expenses by me before he invests.
5. It helps us to see the issues from each other’s perspective
Remember above when I said that we shared our concerns with each other? This means that we have to listen to the other person. We work towards having open hearts and minds when the other person speaks. We don’t interrupt one another, we listen and try to understand how that person was feeling.Communication is key: listening & understanding how the person is feeling strengthens marriagesClick To Tweet
We discuss the issue, we examine why we felt hurt or disrespected, we make a plan for how to avoid it in the future.
Men and women were created to be two very different people. We experience and interpret things very differently and sometimes we feel hurt by the others. Most of the time we don’t intentionally hurt or disrespect but it happens. So that is why we use this time to share our feelings and discuss how we can try to avoid it in the future.
Over the years of our weekly meetings we have fallen the exact same routine of going over our calendars, reviewing the budget and sharing concerns. It’s a routine that is firmly in place and has made a lasting impact in not only our marriage but also our family, finances, and how we spend our time.A weekly meeting makes a lasting impact in our marriages & builds strong familiesClick To Tweet
I would encourage you to make a weekly meeting with your spouse a priority if you’re not already doing it. I firmly believe you would see the same benefits that I have in our family!
Do you meet weekly with your husband? How do you use that time together?
Are you looking for some more resources for building a strong marriage? I highly recommend the following books:
- The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts by Gary Chapman
- Creative Counterpart : Becoming the Woman, Wife, and Mother You Have Longed To Be by Linda Dillow
Helper by Design: God’s Perfect Plan for Women in Marriage by Elyse Fitzpatrick
- Feminine Appeal: Seven Virtues of a Godly Wife and Mother by Carolyn Mahaney
- The Power of a Praying Wife by Stormie Omartian
- The Excellent Wife: A Biblical Perspective by Martha Peace
- Intimate Issues: Twenty-One Questions Christian Women Ask About Sex by Linda Dillow
Beyond Ordinary: When a Good Marriage Just Isn’t Good Enough by Justin and Trisha Davis
Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs by Emerson Eggerichs
- Love Life for Every Married Couple by Ed Wheat
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