The Weekly Meeting with Your Spouse {a happy marriage secret}

Home Anchors and Routines

Want a strong & happy marriage? Try this! A weekly meeting with your spouse can not only improve your marriage and communication, but your entire family and routines will also benefit as well. 

The Weekly Meeting: A Happy Marriage Secret

 

The best things my husband and I do together every week to build a strong & happy marriage?

We meet together.

Every weekend we sit down together for about 30 minutes, usually while the kids are occupied with an activity or when they are asleep.

We have been doing this since before we were even married and it really does help organize and plan out the week.

In fact on the busy weekends when we don’t get a chance to meet (although we make it a priority so it almost never gets missed, but every once in a while it does) I feel it for the rest of the week and it also has a negative impact on our marriage as well.

Though our family has grown and we have changed, our meetings together follow the exact same routine today as they did when we first started meeting together.

5 Things to Do In Your Weekly Meeting with Your Spouse

1. Review Your Week Together

Calendars in front of us, we spend a few minutes reminding each other of upcoming appointments, activities, or events.

We plan date nights or intentional time to spend together without the kids.

Perhaps the most important thing we do is discuss my husband’s work schedule so I know what nights to expect him home late or what mornings he has to leave early.

Now that the kids are in school, making sure our calendars include school events and afterschool activities is a must.

Finally, we look at upcoming events or activities that we need to start planning in advance. I remind him of upcoming birthdays or holidays.

Taking the time to review our calendars together helps remove most of the surprises and helps to set realistic expectations of the other’s needs.

Spending time with your spouse is so important for a strong and healthy marriage.Check out these 3 benefits from a night away with your husband that will bless and build your marriage!!!

Yes, unexpected events do happen during the week and there are things you can’t plan for, but when those events do occur they don’t seem as stressful because we already know how our week is unfolding.

Taking the time to review calendars together removes surprises & sets realistic expectations. Click To Tweet

This also helps me plan my week at home too.

On longer days when he will work later, I can plan a special outing with the kids or make sure we have an easy dinner planned. I’m not waiting around wondering what time he will get home with resentment or anger building up in my heart.

2. Review the Budget Together

My husband, the banker, has an extraordinary gift of organizing numbers.

He is a saver by nature and a planner, so he likes to know where every penny is coming in and going out. He has created the most beautifully detailed spreadsheet that outlines our budget, and he updates it throughout the week.

We are accountable to each other when we make purchases because they all go into the budget spreadsheet, both cash and credit card purchases.

Knowing that every purchase is recorded into our budget really makes me think about those impulse purchases that might happen.

Sure unexpected expenses come up and yes there are some days when a latte is completely justifiable 🙂 but I have become much more mindful of my spending patterns and in return, I have turned into a saver and planner with my husband.

Want a strong & happy marriage? Try this! A weekly meeting with your spouse can not only improve your marriage and communication, but your entire family and routines will also benefit as well.

We set goals and we work towards them together.Click To Tweet

When we review our budget we also map out our short and long term financial goals including investments, big item purchases, home improvement plans.

If we notice a certain budget area is getting tight (like the grocery budget because our kids are already eating like teenagers!) we plan together how we can re-work the budget.

We set goals and we work towards them together.

Need ideas for what kinds of goals couples should make together? There are some great prompts and ideas here!

3. Share Concerns with Each Other

Maybe I said something he felt was disrespectful, or maybe I wanted help in this area and he didn’t come through.

Instead of keeping those negative feelings inside and stewing on them, we use this time to share our thoughts and feelings.

Sure we share these throughout the week but this is a set-aside time each week where we have uninterrupted time to discuss these issues.

The Weekly Meeting {a happy marriage secret} - one of the best things we can do for our marriage, our families, and our schedules is to sit down together weekly and make a plan.

It is both humbling and completely fulfilling to confess, repent, forgive and communicate with one another.

It’s hard and more then enough times I don’t want to hear it, but it’s that part of marriage where we are being sanctified.

4. Be Accountable to One Another

When we review our calendars and set dates or activities, we always run the event by the other person before confirming it.

I don’t plan a girl’s night or a dinner out with friends before checking in with my husband to see if that night would work for him too, and vice versa.

We make sure we have a clear schedule for the week, especially with the kid’s activities, so we are both on the same page.

By keeping a record of the budget and sitting down every week to review it we are being accountable to one another.

My husband works very hard and as a result, I am able to stay home with the children. We view his income as our money but I am very mindful of my spending habits and even my comments about money.

My husband is very generous, gracious and compassionate.

We have a strong partnership, he values my ideas and we always discuss any big purchases or expenses we invest.

5. See the Issues from Each Other’s Perspective

Remember above when I said that we shared our concerns with each other?

This means that we have to listen to the other person.

We work towards having open hearts and minds when the other person speaks.

Showing each other respect by not interrupting one another is so important. We listen and try to understand how that person was feeling.

Communication is key: listening & understanding how the person is feeling strengthens marriagesClick To Tweet

By discussing the issues, we examine why we felt hurt or disrespected, we make a plan for how to avoid it in the future.

Men and women were created to be two very different people.

We experience and interpret things very differently and sometimes we feel hurt by the others.

Most of the time we don’t intentionally hurt or disrespect but it happens. So that is why we use this time to share our feelings and discuss how we can try to avoid it in the future.

Over the years of our weekly meetings, we have fallen the exact same routine of going over our calendars, reviewing the budget and sharing concerns.

It’s a routine that is firmly in place and has made a lasting impact in not only our marriage but also our family, finances, and how we spend our time. 

A weekly meeting makes a lasting impact in our marriages & builds strong familiesClick To Tweet

I would encourage you to make a weekly meeting with your spouse a priority if you’re not already doing it.

I firmly believe you would see the same benefits that I have in our family!

Do you meet weekly with your husband? How do you use that time together?

Young happy couple outdoors view from behind

Are you looking for some more resources for building a strong marriage?

I highly recommend the following books:


 

This post has been updated from the archives, orginally posted 4/14.

Similar Posts

25 Comments

  1. My hubby and I do this too.:-) Thank you for sharing this tip.

    1. So glad you guys do Jolene, I’m sure it’s such a blessing to your family and marriage 🙂

  2. My husband and I currently don’t but this is a great idea and we definitely should start asap! This is a great tip to make sure we are both working towards the same goal during the week and working as a team. Thank you for sharing!

    1. So glad you found this Amy and I hope you and your husband get a chance to start meeting. It does help to make you feel like you are on the same team together and working towards the same goals. Best wishes to you 🙂

  3. Absolutely love this! My husband and I used to do a better job of this. I’m really hoping to get our weekly meetings back up and running soon. I feel like we’ve been under one major life circumstance upheaval after the other for the last three years. Just when we get on track, something throws it all off again. But I know this is helpful and essential for keeping us connected throughout the week when we communicate clearly before the week begins. Thanks for this reminder!

    1. I can relate to having to adjust our routines with one event after the other crashing in on us. It always seems that just when you have it together, something happens to wreak havoc on the schedule! 🙂 Hopefully you and your husband will find a chance to sit down together and create a little peace for your family.

  4. Jessi Fearon (@TheBudgetMama) says:

    Love this!!! It is definitely a must to meet with your husband every week. We had one of those busy weekends this weekend and didn’t meet up. We are already behind on some very important decisions that need to be made. Thank you so much for sharing and I look forward to implementing a few of your ideas. 🙂

    Visiting from ABFOL!

    1. So glad you found it Jessi! Those busy weekends always through us off our game too and makes for some crazy days, that’t why we try and protect that time as best as we can. Best wishes to you 🙂

  5. This is a great idea! My husband and I are both people who love the idea of organisation, but sometimes do not live it out so well, especially when it comes to things like budgets and scheduling our time. We are always surprised when we look at the month to come and realize we have somehow managed to book up every weekend! We know that we are both much better when we are intentional about it, so this sounds like something that would really work for us. 🙂 Thank you for sharing!

    1. Claire I can definitely relate to that too. I love the idea of getting organized, but it’s the practical day-to-day stuff that always throws me for a loop! Thankfully there is grace. Hopefully you and your husband can start getting into a habit of meeting, even if it’s only for a few minutes.

  6. This is a great idea. I sit and make up my weekly plan on Saturdays when I’m drafting up my Small Victories Sunday linky recap and goals for the next week. I always jot down my menu plan and other goals into the weekly planner I developed to map out my week. While it is hanging on the pantry door for all who wish to see, my husband I don’t go through it together and we totally should! It would help us get on the same page so there are none of those last minute/unplanned, oh I needed you to do this or get that for me that throws off my plans.

    Thanks for sharing with #smallvictoriessunday and hope you continue to link up with us! Pinning and sharing!

    1. I post my meal plan in the kitchen too and it’s always funny to watch my husband stop by on Sunday afternoons and “approve” the menu for the week! 🙂 I hope you and your husband get a chance to start making a habit of sitting down together, even if it’s just for a few minutes it can really help throughout the week. Thanks for sharing Tanya, and I’m glad I found your link party too!

  7. I know someone who runs a business with her husband out of her house. They also have four children. She said her business would have never made it without a weekly meeting where they planned out their family and work schedules along with discussing things like collections. She said before the meeting they would try to discuss things over dinner which never worked.

    1. They are so smart! I don’t run a business, although this blog is starting to turn into one, but I can only imagine how communication and planning with my husband while working from home would be crucial. Thanks for sharing that inspirational story 🙂

  8. I love this post. My husband and I have been married 22 years but are always looking to grow as a couple. I am going to talk to him about this today (and I’m positive he will be on board…or else! hahaha 🙂 ). Thank you for posting!

    1. So glad you found this Julie and I’m glad that you want to start having a weekly meeting with your husband, it really has had such a positive impact in our marriage and we have only been married 7 years 😉

  9. This was such a nice blog. This has a very positive effect for married couple. Keep it up.

  10. Pingback: Making Time for the Best Things - Young Wife's Guide
  11. Pingback: Setting Goals as a Couple: Checklists for Marriage, Faith & Family
  12. Pingback: Wifey Wednesday: Setting Goals as a Couple – frac info
  13. Great idea, Victoria. People schedule meetings all the time at work, why not at home? Adds well needed structure to your personal life.

  14. Amy and I had both experienced the pain of divorce when we got married. A wise friend, knowing I was an Enneagram type 5, INTJ introverted personality and Amy was an extroverted, Elementary school counselor, suggested, “Jordan, you need to take the lead in putting energy into this relationship, or Amy might grow to resent your aloofness.” So I thought, this won’t for me spontaneously, I need a structure and hence the birth of our 10 simple-but-profound question weekly marrriage meetings. We’ve share this with numberous friends who said, “You have to make this public.” So we relented and did at https://themarriagemeeting.com. Hopefully it helps others as much as it does us.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.